What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 00:14
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
My husband asked me why do I keep on complaining about him cheating. Why don't I just leave?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Make Nazis afraid again!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
What do you do you do if your motorcycle chain snaps while riding on the highway?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
TEXT:
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Et distinctio voluptatem magni repudiandae.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Have you been with a stranger yet?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Why do companies cull employees during financial downturns without saying so?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority